i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
