my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
