i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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