I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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