And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
