ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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