just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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