so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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