maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
