Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
