ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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