Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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