Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
