Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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