But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
