i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
why is half of my head shaved?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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