Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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