I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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