I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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