He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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