I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
