My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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