you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
