The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
