do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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