so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
