No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
