whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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