so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
