You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
