Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
