I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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