I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
