I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
