Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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