With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
