I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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