And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
