he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
