No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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