I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
