i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
