i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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