I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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