Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
