I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
