I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize