I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
