When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
