he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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